In His World
by babycakesbriauna
Summary: What Happened after Olivia answered Fitz's 3rd phone call in " The Other Woman". Contains minor spoilers. One- shot.


**AN: This is my take on the 3rd call between Liv and Fitz in " The Other Woman". Grab your tissues and enjoy. **

**-babycakesbriauna **

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**_I'd rather live in his world than without him in mine. - Gladys Knight_**

Olivia sat on her bed, studying his face, listening to the sound of his voice. His eulogy was captivating and thought provoking yet poignant. The thing she loved about his speeches was the sincerity in them. He always seemed to find a way to spread cross the masses and resonate with everyone. It was one of the reasons she's fallen for him.

As she pressed play for the fifth, she waited for it come. She knew the ring would come soon, it always did. He always called. Consistent to a fault. Just like he always called, she always answered. It didn't matter how upset she was or how unsure she was, she always answered, even when she knew she shouldn't.

Ring...ring...ring

She stared at her tv, listening to his words. Perhaps it would be enough for just one night. To only listen to his voice and watch his face.

Ring... Ring... Ring.

She looked at the phone again and back at the tv. That's when she saw. She saw Anna and Vincent. She saw Nancy and Mellie. She saw herself.

She picked up her remote and paused the footage with glossy eyes. She'd told herself she wouldn't answer. Not after the day she had, not after the week she had, but she had to because she always did. Even when she didn't want to.

"Hello," her voice came out softly as she propped herself up against her headboard.

"Hello," Fitz replied, swirling the whiskey around in his glass.

"You've been drinking... Whiskey," Olivia commented, taking in his tone as she wrapped a arm around her midsection.

"That I have been. Very astute," he hummed in her ear. "You looked... You looked beautiful today, Livi."

"Fitz, don't," she sighed into the phone. She couldn't deal with his sweet words tonight. Not when she felt as she wasa on the ledge, waiting to jump.

"Why, not? I thought we were friends. Friends compliment one another."

"We've been over this, we aren't friends. We can never be friends," she shook her head as if he could actually see her.

"We'll always be friends. Always," he said adamantly. "And you were beautiful, heartbreakingly so. I wish... I wish I could have spoken with you, to have held your hand or..."

"Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop," Olivia shouted at him as the tears threatened to spill over. She could no longer take it. There was a reason she had vanished before the service began.

"Olivia," Fitz sat up, placing his glass on the small table. Her words, her emotions were sobering.

"I can't... I can't be your Anna!"

"My Anna... My Anna" he repeated, first in confusion and then in realization. Anna, Pastor Drake's mistress, and the pieces of the puzzle began to connect. This situation was too close to home for her. "Liv..."

"No, no. I don't want to hear it. I can't be her. I cannot be the woman sitting in the back of the church with your child," she cried out, tears beginning to stain her cheeks.

"You aren't her. You will never be her."

"I am her. I am her. Fifteen years, fifteen years of her life wasted and what does she have. She has her son, she has six million but it'll never be enough," she cried to him. It was never enough. To only watch him from afar, to only talk to him at night, to only be in the shadows.

"It won't always be like this," Fitz assured as he listened to her tears, longing to wrap her in his arms. "Just tell me what you want. Tell me what I can do to take the pain away," he pleaded, wanting to comfort her.

"I want Christmases and birthdays and Thanksgivings and Easters. I want horse rides on the ranch and walks on the beach. I want to fall asleep every night with my ear pressed against your chest, listening to heartbeat... I want the kids and house and the dogs. I want the fights, public vacations and the late nights... I want the world to know you loved me. I want them to know I'm more than the other woman."

"Liv, you can have that. We can have that. All you have to do is say the word and this all ends," he promised as he continued to listen to her tears. With one shed, with each time she failed to compose herself, he broke inside. He reached for his glass and took a sip.

"No, I can't have that. I could never ask you to leave and you'll never do so willingly, and I can't ask you to."

"It won't always be this way. I won't run for election. We can have it all. We can have the kids and the house and vacations. We'll have the Sunday walks and Thursday date nights. I promise you, we can have it" he said aloud, trying to convince her, to convince himself.

As he'd watched Nancy and Anna walk out hand-in-hand, side-by-side he was initially taken aback. As if out of instinct, he stole a glands at Mellie and then at Olivia. In that moment, all he could think about was the two in his life. His wife and the woman he loved.

" You can't promise me that! You're a fool if you think so, and I'm a fool for believing it," she spat at him. She was tired of the empty promises and sleepless nights and the broken hearts. "You could die. You could die any day for any number of reasons and what will I have. I'll have a few pictures, a several secret memories and a heart full of want. Then I'll be your Anna. The woman you loved but kept in shadows."

"I'm not keeping you in the shadows, you're keeping yourself there," he snapped at her. Everything she was saying, it was everything that haunted him at night. " I was ready to walk away six months ago. I was ready to say to hell with it all. I was ready to tell the entire world that I love you but you wouldn't let me. You made a deal with the devil, not me! You wouldn't take what I was offering. I was giving it all to you but you wouldn't take it!"

"Because it wasn't mine to take. You aren't mine to have. You don't belong to me. It doesn't matter how much I love you, I can't take something that isn't mine," she yelled back. She would give anything, do almost anything to have that life with him. To be loved freely and openly. " I'm not your wife. I'm your mistress."

"You aren't a mistress. You were never a mistress," Fitz denied as he hurled his glass across the room.

"I am. You can attempt to use pretty words and colorful terms but when you strip down to it's basics, I'm your mistress. I'm just the woman in the back of the church. I'm just the woman who wants more. More time, more recognition, more love, more you. More of something I'll never have, that will never belong to me. "

She sat, one hand over her mouth as she attempted to muffle her sobs. She sat, listening to him breath, listening to his own silent tears. She listened to his wordless turmoil, his internal battle.. While she listened, she waited. She waited for the promises, the confessions, the declarations. She waited but they never came. Just like the recognition, the life, the love she longed for, those words would never come. They weren't hers to have.

Instead she got broken hearts, empty promises, and secret phone calls. While she distanced herself, she knew she'd never fully let it go, let him go. She always wanted more. More of the man with the beautiful words and loving soul. And she'd rather be his Anna than to be his nothing.

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**AN: So did I break your hearts? If so, mission accomplished. There's nothing fun about being The Other Woman. Love hurts, at times people would rather hurt than have nothing at all. The songs the inspired this were:**

**Till It Happens To You - Corinne Bailey Rae**

**I Have Nothing - Whitney Houston**

**All We'd Ever Need - Lady Antebellum **

**Midnight Train to Georgia - Gladys Knight and The Pips**

**Thanks for reading & let me know what you think. **

**- babycakesbriauna **

**Twitter: babycakebriauna (and) babygladiator**

**Tumblr: babycakesbriauna **


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